Friday, March 7, 2014

MY SILENT PRAYER

And my prayer is this:

“Dear God: Just don’t let me expose myself at the pool.”

Let me explain.

It’s crunch time, folks.

Pun wholeheartedly intended.

Scotty begins his next round of swimming lessons one month from now. One month!

The class rules mandate that a parent must accompany each child in the water, and since I was pregnant for the better part of last year, Scotty’s aquatic prowess was put on hiatus.

I felt it would have been distracting for the children to be swimming alongside Shamu. Or perhaps they would have thought I was one large community flotation device; you know, something they could have reached out and latched on to in the event that one of their life jackets got a hole in it.

Either way, all the money in the world could not have enticed me to take Scotty to those swim classes last fall – not when I was mere weeks away from popping.

So since I’ve got less than 30 days to shave down what’s left of these saddlebags – while trying to somewhat flatten my pooch – I’ve moved on to the next 30 Day Challenge; two, actually.

I’m now doing the 30-Day Crunch and 30-Day Squat Challenges simultaneously: 

My biggest, challenge, however, was buying a new swimsuit.

While I didn’t want to rock the bathing suit equivalent of mom jeans, I didn’t want to arrive to the pool looking like a Sports Illustrated reject, either.

Those aren’t the looks I’m going for.

So enter this modest “tugless tank”one-piece from Lands’ End:

Frankly, this marks the very first time form and function have dictated my choice of swimwear.

My itty-bitty Pucci bikini hasn’t seen the light of day in so long that it’s laced with cobwebs. (A huge sign of the times, but I digress.)

Even in this swimsuit, which by all accounts is a safe choice, I’ll still be saying a silent prayer to the Lord above that all of my bits remain covered.

At the end of the day, I just want swimwear that won’t give way to a nip slip or give me The Mother of All Wedgies when I’m getting in and out of the pool.

Is that too much to ask?


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20 comments:

  1. I hate to admit that I LOVE that bathing suit. Absolutely love it. It looks safe enough that there'll be no Janet Jackson reproductions, but you never know. You'll need to update whether or not that happens... ;)

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    1. And the suit actually looks even better in person! I'm thinking that this is about as safe as it gets, save for wearing a toga or a diving suit in the pool. I'll definitely report back if there are problems, though.

      Thank you for commenting, Stephanie! Have a good weekend. :-)

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  2. I love this bathing suit! This is definitely something I would wear. Since I have more lumps and bumps after having my son lol, I want to make sure to keep everything together with a great one-piece suit. You picked a great bathing suit!

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesday! We love having you! :)

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    1. Hi, Natasha! Yes, *sigh*: Lumps and bumps...the things our bodies acquire for the sake of making our beautiful babies...

      Thank you for taking the time to comment -- and for complimenting the bathing suit. It should serve its purpose, which is NOT to turn heads. lol

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  3. You made me laugh about Shamu and community floating device! I don't remember the last time I was in a swimsuit, and I applaud your appropriate and bit-hiding choice. I knew someone who did a "planking" 30-day challenge. That didn't work out too well, so I hope your routine is a bit less punishing. Good luck, and may no one ever call you "Shamu." lol

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    1. Hi, Lexa! Yes, evading any comparisons to Shamu is something I definitely strive for, and joking aside, I think everyone should wear something decent to a children's swim class, but I'm sure someone, somewhere, would beg to differ with me...

      So, I'm smack-dab in the middle of the crunch and squat challenges, which are not nearly as difficult as the plank challenge. Yeah, the squat challenge has been known to induce a few stifled curse words out of me, but NOTHING like the horrendous pain that is the plank challenge, which I was just talking to my husband about last night. They say the plank challenge is designed to slowing increase the time throughout the challenge so as to avoid injury. I think that's kind of poppycock, because, depending on where someone is fitness-wise, it may take much, much longer than 30 days to hold a 5-minute plank.

      I can attest to that.

      Thank you for commenting! (I may include a swimsuit update in the future, if warranted.) lol

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  4. I like the bathing suit! And Courtney, what weight do you have to lose? You're skinny girl! My girls may be going back to doing swimming lessons next month. But thank God I don't have to be in the pool with them!

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    1. Yeah, I'm kind of looking forward to the day when I can watch Scotty from the sidelines...but during "tot" swim, in the pool I must go...

      Okay, so, yes, I am nowhere near the Shamu size I was during pregnancy. I actually don't know how much I weigh now because the scale we paid a gazillion dollars for is...on the fritz. Can you believe? Now when I need it the most. Go figure. So I haven't been weighed since my 6-week postpartum appointment in early November. I know I've lost a lot since then...but, oh Louida, trust me, there is some tightening that's in order. Trust me on that! lol

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    2. Ha! You're motivating me to step my game up by going back to the gym. I finally went back over the weekend. Let just see how long that last.....

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    3. That's awesome! You go, Girl. Heck, at the rate I'm going, though, the roles are likely to reverse, and I'll need you to lean on for support...I'm fickle with exercise. I'll be the first to admit. :-/

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  5. I don't even want to think about bathing suits!!! I am still on a downward spiral (or upward where the scale is concerned) that started during the holidays!

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    1. I hear you loud and clear. Normally, that's where I'd be, too. But, fortunately, I had K so close to Thanksgiving that I was hell-bent on losing baby weight -- it was the only thing that saved me during the holidays.

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  6. "Safety" is my #1 concern when choosing a swimsuit, but it's not super easy. Right now I have an athletic-style swimsuit top and running shorts for the bottoms!

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    1. Oh, Rachel, you are so speaking my language. Safety is indeed the name of the game. For Scotty's first round of swim classes, I wore an athletic-style tank-top and running shorts, as well. My only beef with that ensemble was that because those pieces weren't designed to get wet, it took them forever to dry, and we often.had other stops to make before coming home...thank you so much for not only stopping by, but commenting as well. (It's good to know I'm not alone. lol)

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  7. Nice choice on suits! It's simple but still fashionable in my opinion. I've been looking at the 30 day crunch challenge for quite some time now. Maybe I should finally just do it. :) Good luck with the challenges and the swimming lessons!!

    And thanks for visiting my blog, Hodge Podge Moments. :) Looking forward to connecting with you more!

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    1. Hi, Pam! Thanks! So you agree: The suit is at least semi-fashionable...right? Thank you for stopping by, and, yes, I look forward to connecting with you more as well!:-)

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  8. This seems totally doable! I got a little scared when I saw 250 squats on the last day but I think I'm going to give this a try. I've been going to boot camp class at the rec at the college I used to go to and the instructor pisses me off because she's some 22 year old who keeps looking at herself in the mirror and makes up the exercises for us on the spot so we waste so much time in class. In other words, I might need to step it up a bit outside of the class or on my own.

    The bathing suit is classic and totally practical! You will be completely comfortable and that's what's important. Last year I bought a retro style one piece for the water park, mainly because I wanted everything in place when I flew down the water slide with the rest of the 11 year olds. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!

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    1. Thanks, Dina! I see glaring similarities between your water slide bathing suit objectives and my intention of keeping everything covered during Scotty's class -- our goals are one in the same!

      Oh, and Dina: While the squat challenge didn't break me like the plank one, trust me, there is pain involved -- but in a good way, if that makes sense. Can I do all the squats in a row? hell, no. I break it up between a couple of beats/breaths and then go back at it again. And I am already seeing results; I think you will like it. E-mail me what you think after you've begun...

      How did your phone sale go?

      Thank you for commenting!!!

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  9. The bathing suit equivalent to mom jeans. You are hilarious but I know exactly what you mean. Just because I'm older I don't want a skirt on my suit and I still want to be sexy but I do realize I don't have the same body I had when I was 20. I love your blog.

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    1. Exactly. I know you "get" me. Don't get me wrong: I plan to rock my Pucci bikini again -- oh, yes. But not before it's time. You won't catch me looking age inappropriate trying to reclaim what's left of my youth. No, ma'am.

      Thank you so much for your kind words about this blog. I hope you know you've made my day. I look forward to coming back to visit yours as well. I'm glad we've "met."

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