Friday, April 18, 2014

10 SIGNS MOTHERHOOD HAS SUNK IN*


1.       When in the midst of deep sleep, a large aircraft could land on the roof, and you wouldn’t hear a thing. Yet, when a faint (read: barely audible) “eh” filters through the intercom, you awake with a start, and, as if on auto-pilot, begin to make your way to the nursery.

2.       A quick jaunt to the grocery store alone is so rare that when it does happen, it feels strangely liberating.

3.       Although an evening out sans kids is badly needed, the prospect of pumping a bottle, packing a diaper bag, and rounding up a sitter will seem like more trouble than it’s worth. So you'll gladly settle for a bottle of wine, a spot on the couch, and DVR'ed programming.

4.       Your sleep deprivation has reached an all-time high, and there’s no end in sight to this vicious cycle. It is your hope that your sleep pattern will recalibrate itself by 2027.

5.       Gone are the days when you could get away with doing the wash once a week. Now you’re left wondering where the hell all this dirty laundry is coming from. It seems to be multiplying at the rate of wet gremlins.

6.       Nothing you do in the bathroom is private anymore. Nothing.

7.       You’ve developed surprising upper body strength and dexterity which allows you to hold a thirty-plus-pound toddler and a pouch of pureed applesauce with one hand and fetch the broom and dustpan from the closet with the other.

8.       It becomes abundantly clear that you may never again do one thing at a time.

9.       You never thought your dance party playlist would include songs from Yo Gabba Gabba!, but it does, and guess what? You kind of like it.

10.   In the quiet of the night while you’re rocking your baby to sleep, or when your toddler – with wet, sticky hands and all – doles out a hug and a kiss when you need it the most but least expect it, you realize that you have never, ever known a love like this.


*This photo was not staged. I left my shoes by the door, and, unbeknownst to me, Scotty had retreated into his room with my precious Jimmy Choos so that he could use them as a slide for his Little People, which actually served as the catalyst for this post



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26 comments:

  1. I do remember those type of days. They do grow up fast though.

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    1. "They do grow up fast."

      You promise? No, I'm just joking, of course. And right you are. I look at what Scotty, who's only 2.5, can do...and how Kennedy is vastly outgrowing her infancy, and I'm like, What in the hell just happened here?

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  2. It's like you're in my head! I got so pumped when Backyardigans would come on...that's my jam! Diaper dances with pudgy toddlers and apple juice-best days ever!
    Get it mama! <3 Hysterical post :)
    -Sandra

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    1. Thanks, Sandra! These really are the good 'ol days happening in real time -- the days I'll long for and get all warm, fuzzy, and nostalgia over when my kids are full of teenage angst and don't want anything to do with me. :-/

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  3. I love the last one so sweet it's all worth it! The little people are having a ball in your Jimmy Choo pumps lol

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    1. Hi, Takei! Yes, they are having a bona fide ball. I told my son that I'll let this one slide, and I also told him hands off my Versace and YSL pumps OR ELSE.

      Thank you for commenting. (I plan to make my way over to your place soon...)

      Happy Easter!

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  4. LOL at the shoes! Gosh I feel your pain with no privacy in the bathroom. *TMI* I would be sitting on the toilet doing my business and my girls comes busting in trying to have a full conversation. LOL! Enjoy your Easter Courtney!

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    1. Privacy in the bathroom: It's a goner it seems the moment we bring our babies home from the hospital. (Heck, I remember bringing Scotty into the bathroom with me -- in his baby swing, mind you -- because he couldn't stand being away from me, even for a moment.)

      You (and your precious daughters) enjoy Easter, too!

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  5. Number 10 gave me the chills! So so sweet. And the "slide" haha I was wondering what sort of game he was trying to play here. At least he's creative!!

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    1. Hi, Dina! Yes, Scotty does get extra brownie points for being creative. The photo above is actually the result of me not being able to take him to the park because it was raining, and he was soooooooo bummed out about not being able to go on the slide, which, trust me, was a tragedy of epic proportions.

      Thank you for commenting, Dina! <3

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  6. This list is so on point. I love the music from Yo Gabba Gabba, I've been singing "Treehouse" for the last couple of days. I also, like the music Back Yardigans, Peg + Cat, & Sid The Science Kid. I think I listen to more kid music than adult music.

    Sonya
    Saving Everyday With Sonya K

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    1. Oh, Sonya. I like Yo Gabba Gabba music so much, it's not even funny...and now I have a new favorite: Have you heard some of the songs from Bubble Guppies? I like them so much, it's freakish...

      I also second you on Sid...("Rug Time...Everybody, Move Yo' feet!" LOL LOVE it!
      "Peg plus Cat...nah, nah, nah, nah, nah..."

      Yeah, I'll still be listening to this stuff while I'm gumming my food at the nursing home.

      Thank you for commenting!

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  7. Loved it and now I miss it, my baby is 18 years old and I miss those days!

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    1. Antionette, every time I feel a little bit "over" this stage -- and everything that comes with it, like diaper changes at inopportune times, having to tote a diaper bag around, and being vastly outnumbered by the number of toys in my own bedroom -- some wise mother like yourself splashes cold water on my face by gently let me know that these are the days that will be remembered.

      Thank you for taking the time to comment! (LOVE your bio photo, by the way. HOT mama, you are!)

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  8. You are spot on! I had to laugh because when I opened my email and saw the pic of the little people in your shoes, it was with the Little People playing in the background at my house on youtube with that irritating little people song where Aaron Neville sounds just a little too cheerful. And yes, the grocery store alone is only notch down from spa day.

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    1. Hell, going to the bathroom alone IS akin to a spa day.

      I'm off to Google this Aaron Neville song. (I just asked Scott if he knows it, and he doesn't, either.)

      Thank you for commenting.

      Oh, and before I forget, I had been meaning to ask you...are you planning on going to the Bloggy Moms Conference in September at Cedar Point?

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  9. That photo is hilarious -- and so far the only thing on that list I can't relate to is not being able to go the bathroom by myself. But I knowwwww those days of peeing in privacy are limited. Oh, and the Yo Gabba Gabba song. I don't know it yet, but I'm sure I'll have it memorized sooner than I'd like to :)

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    1. Sara, you are so ahead of the game. I used to have to drag the baby swing into the bathroom with me so that Scotty and Kennedy could see me on the toilet if we were home alone because, God forbid I leave them for ONE SECOND to do my business. I just only recently stopped doing this with Kennedy because now Scotty entertains her while I'm gone...but sometimes HE'LL follow me into the bathroom, leaving K all by herself, and boy, does that get complicated. :-/

      And as for Gabba...it's not just the theme song -- it's the variety of music they play during the course of any of their episodes. They have real life good music groups contribute to the show, so it's music that the parents can relate and bop along to, which, I'm sure was by design. (But my new fave is Bubble Guppies. I'm actually on the hunt for a greatest hits CD...)

      Thank you so much for commenting.

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  10. I think I can relate to each of these with at least one if not all my Kiddies! The sleeping through anything EXCEPT a sniffle, cough or groan is definitely a big thing for me. My Hubby thinks it's hilarious! Me not so much... :D Great post!

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    1. Thank you so much! It amazes me how that works: My husband can be in our bedroom -- while I am right there, mind you -- with the TV on high, eating a meal, the whole nine. And, meanwhile, it's crickets for me. I am out like a light.

      But I will literally be able to hear my daughter burp, fart, or yawn through the intercom and I will wake up! Strange.

      Thank you for stopping by; I owed you a visit even before this. <3

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  11. All of these are so true!! It has been years since my boys have been little but you took me right back to it and when they tell they love me to this day it still tugs at my heart!

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    1. Hi, Susie! Thank you -- and I love hearing readers confirm that they, too, can relate. It's like the greatest form of validation when it comes to lists like this one...

      Thank you for commenting!

      (And it warms my heart to hear your response when your little guys say those three magical words...)

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  12. I love this, every single one is so so true. Love your shoes too by the way!!!! Seriously though, whoever came up with Yo Gabba Gabba - every single morning my 2 year old appears in our bed at 6.00am and switches on the TV to either Yo Gabba Gabba or Peppa Pig, I think my brain cells are slowly dying - aghhhh. Great post! Pooping over from #TurnItUpTuesday! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier :)

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    1. Hi, Ciara! And thank you -- I'm glad we've connected...

      I actually like Yo Gabba Gabba. I mean, yes, their songs are like earworms that invade your brain against your will, but, at least I can kind of bop along, as the music is catchy. lol

      As for my Jimmy Choos, my son has been forewarned nicely: Hands OFF!

      Thank you for commenting!

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  13. Love this post! Every point is so absolutely true! I only have one toddler, but he goes through clothes as though I have seven. And he hates being dirty, so he will make a mess, take off his shirt, grab another shirt, dirty that one wiping his hands, and starts the process again. One meal could use up at least 3 shirts - ugh! LOL! it's fun, but exhausting.

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesday! We love having you! :)

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    1. Hi, Natasha! Don't EVEN get me started on mealtimes...did you see the first post I did on spaghetti dinner with Scotty? I literally have to use TOWELS in addition to his placement. Sauce gets freakin' EVERYWHERE.

      I'm not wishing time away; I'm not. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'll be glad when we get past the "I'm messy as hell when I eat" stage. Ugh.

      Thank you for commenting!<3

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