Monday, May 26, 2014

5 Annoying Things I Do as a Mom

I don’t have to wait for Scotty and Kennedy to morph into know-it-all teenagers and pronounce me a social pariah.

Nope.

I can call out my own annoying behavior right now.

Here are five things I do daily that must annoy the s#%t out of them:

1.       When I was little and got something on my face, my dad would lick his finger and remove said crud by swiping my face. (I know: Ewwwww.) I remember thinking Isn’t this what WetNap packets are for? I HATED this. (I hate to use the word hate, but, sorry, no other word applies here.) But, what do ya know? Who’s putting a wet finger to their kids’ faces now?

2.       I go through periods when I don’t shower nearly as often as I should. I am not proud of this. I’ve also been known to wear the same nursing tank two (okay, three) days in a row. My children don’t mind their mama’s funk, but, still, that is no excuse.

3.       I add the letter y to the end of 75% of nouns in my vocabulary. Foot becomes footy; teeth becomes teethy; snack becomes snacky. “Awww, did Scotty bump his heady?” or “Mama’s gonna tickle that arm pity,” I say to Kennedy every night when I’m dressing her for bed. Hopefully I’ll be able to undo this grammatical damage before my children enter Kindergarten.

4.       I sing along to Scotty’s favorite children’s tunes. Loudly. And badly. You can find a few of my greatest (offending) hits here, here, and here. Oh, and my perennial favorite, here. I sing along to Every. Single. Word. Ain’t no shame in my game.

5.       Whenever I’m breaking bread with Scotty at the dinner table, I’m either asking him to stop playing with his food, or, worse, I’m asking if he finds his meal delicious. “Is it delicious, Scotty? Is it delicious? Is it?” Mind you, I can’t cook worth a damn, so most of the time his food is just edible, at best, unless my husband made it. (I admit that I ask Scotty this mostly so I can hear him repeat the word delicious, which he pronounces, “dishes.”)

C’mon, join in on the annoyance fun! What are some of your behaviors that your children must find less than charming? Share yours in the comment section below!

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34 comments:

  1. I LOOOVE this bloggy! ROTFL...The first step is admitting you have a problem.

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    1. Thank you so much! Oh, and boy do I ever have problems...lol

      I'm grateful for you taking the time to come and visit -- and on the summer's first holiday, no less. Thank you very much.

      xo

      Delete
  2. Oh boy do I do these things I never thought I'd do - mainly licking my finger and wiping their faces. Ick! And yet, I'm never quite prepared with wet naps.
    Thanks for visiting my Facebook page and commenting on my photo with my little girl holding a football. It made me come back and visit this great space!

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    1. Hi, Tamera! Thank you so very much for your kind words -- and for taking the time to visit...

      And with regard to being ill-prepared with wet naps, guess what? I have no excuse. I am always -- do you hear me? ALWAYS -- armed with these awesome packs of wipes, which I wax poetic about here: http://www.thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com/2014/03/my-diaper-bag-deconstructed.html

      Anyhoo, I'm still dabbing my kids faces with my spit. (Ewwwww.)

      There's just, sadly, no hope for me.

      I hope you're having great Memorial Day weekend! (You're on my list of blogs to visit...)

      xo

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  3. Not only did I lick my fingers and wipe my kids faces when they were little, Courtney I did that the other day to my youngest (19) the other day and he had a bunch of friends over! I love to annoy my kids! It's like your only weapon. Especially when they are teens! I'll never forget the time my oldest (25 now) was a junior in high school. I woke up at midnight and could hear him playing games. I had told him in the past he needed to get his butt in bed earlier on school nights. So the next morning he of course didn't hear his alarm. I calmly walked in his room and said, "Looks like someone needs a ride to school." I did not change out of my jammies or comb my hair. In the car I put my Nickleback cd in. Found the song Photograph (Brief back story. I downloaded that song before the cd was out and played it so much that my boys did the eye roll as soon as they heard the music!) I pressed repeat and sang it allllll the way to school. My son gets out of the car and is walking towards the school. I roll down the window and yell, "Mommy loves you!" He never got up late for school again!!

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    1. Honestly, Susie?

      Best. Story. EVER.

      Seriously, I pasted it into a notepad file and saved it for future reading. I may just have to act that one out one day...

      Thank you for sharing!!

      xo

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    2. Honestly, Courtney! This is one of my favorite stories! I love to have fun with my kids and I have been describe as bubbly many times so I am not the type of person who gets upset or down. One time when my youngest was 5, I must have been irritating him because he said, "Mommy! You can't be silly all the time!" We were laughing about that the other day!

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  4. OMG I hated when my mom would use her spit to clean my face when I was little. I told myself that I would never do that with my kids and I never have either.

    I will say my cooking needs a lot of work and thank goodness for Mr. M and his great cooking abilities!

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    1. Yeah, well, my cooking needs a lot more than work...but since The Hubs is a trained chef -- who loves cooking for us and assures me that my not liking it is NOT a problem...well, I see little hope for my skills getting better in the future.

      Happy Memorial Day, Louida! And thank you for commenting.:-)

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  5. My cooking has improved over the years Courtney, but I would stay away from asking them if they like it. Lol! I know I annoy mine by asking them to do something the second they sit down! Get a diaper, shoes, bowl, toy, etc. My son rolls his eyes.

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    1. Oh, but April, while Scotty is still young and accepting of All Things Mama, I simply cannot resist asking him! Why? For the sheer joy of hearing him say "delicious" in his own, broken way...

      Just today, I asked him if his boxed mac & cheese was good, and he looked at me with that adorable smile and goes, "Dishes, Mama!"

      I about melted. (Mind you, The Hubs made a full on feats, but Scotty STILL only wanted boxed mac & cheese, so...)

      I hope you guys are having a wonderful Memorial Day holiday...and thank you for commenting!

      xo

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  6. I have to say that I enjoy rocking some Thomas Roll Call, and my kids don't even really watch that show. I can never remember who is cheeky, thunders down the line or pulls the mail on time but I do my best.

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    1. Hey! Yes, that tune is the gift that keeps on giving...

      We were all singing alone -- Scott included -- during our recent road trip to Jersey. I predict a line from that song will be K's first coherent sentence...

      Thank you for commenting! :-)

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  7. "dishes" - Haha! Too cute! I'm guilty of almost all your offenses, and I don't have the very valid excuse of kids to take care of. (Except for the one big kid I'm married to.) I work from home. You don't want to know how long I can go without showering or changing clothes. Seriously. I'm like some new breed of Toxic Avenger. lol

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    1. "You don't want to know how long I can go without showering or changing clothes. Seriously."

      Best. Two. Lines. Ever. (With regard to inability to shower regularly, anyway. lol)

      I know you "get" me, Lexa, and for that I love you even more!

      Thank you for commenting,as always.

      xo

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  8. I think I've done all the things you listed at one time or another! I have some teenagers so my annoying habits are pointed out to me on a regular basis. 1. I ask too many questions and 2. I'm too loud when I talk. Basically, if you're talking at all and/or they can hear you, it's annoying to teens! :) #turnituptuesday

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    1. LOL. Well, then, there is ZERO hope for me when S and K hit adolescence, since I am doing a mighty fine job of rubbing them the wrong way now -- and they're 2.5 and 8 months, respectively. So it's all downhill from here...

      Thank you for commenting!<3

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  9. One of the things I do that's not very pretty, is that I always give myself the most food... Instead of giving the biggest piece to my kids, like a Good Mom would do, I eat it myself...

    Shame on me.

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    1. Thank you for sharing, Momfever! Guess what? I'm guilty as charged, too...

      This happened, quite literally on Memorial Day morning, when I made my son his favorite: Fresh hash browns. After frying them up, I arrive at the point where it is time to divide them up and put them on our plates...

      I put the lion's share on my plate thinking, "He won't eat them all, anyway, and they'll go to waste!"

      But then, I reconsider, and give HIM the most.

      Guess what? He wasted most of them!!! And he had doused them in ketchup, which I hate, so I couldn't even eat them.

      Sigh.

      I can relate to you on this one. :-/

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  10. I'm guilty as charged - for all of them! Oh my goodness, it made me smile to know that somewhere in the world another mom is committing the same crimes ;) Great post Courtney!

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    1. Yes, Bonnie! Annoying Mamas Unite! lol

      Oh, my annoyingness -- is there such a word? -- has reached such heights that I am beyond being embarrassed by them. :-/

      Thank you so very much for visiting -- and commenting.

      Delete
  11. I'm not a mum but I am an aunt and aunties do that add a "y" nonsense too. Foody, footy...lol. I catch myself and remind myself that the kid is almost 4 and needs aunty to set a good example esp where his education is concerned. lol.

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    1. Oh, I know that's right. I've really tried to cool it with the -y business-- and now that Scotty's approaching age 3, I'm doing better...but with Kennedy, I'm still as bad as ever.

      Again, I'm so not proud of this. :-/

      Thank you for commenting! <3

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  12. Only 5? You are a saint! I could list 15....

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    1. LOL. You and me both, Kristen; you and me both...

      I just decided to shorten this list in the interest of not publishing a post that would rival the length of War & Peace, because, really who has time to read all that? lol

      Thank you for commenting.

      xo

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  13. This post made me chuckle! I can relate to every single one! And I'll add -- I'm not afraid to bust out a (terrible) dance move when the song's right. It's just how I do. Heehee.

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    1. I like you already, Aubrey.

      Don't EVEN get me started on my dance moves...but, come to think of it, my singing is way, WAY worse. I think those around me would actually prefer that I dance as opposed to hearing the horrendous noise that comes out of my mouth.

      Thank you so very much for commenting.

      xo

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  14. Hahaha my parents used to do this all the time to me --> lick there finger then clean my face lol hated it and still do hope when I have kids I won't do it lol. Thanks for linking up with us at countdown in style x.
    Myrabev - ajulydreamer.com

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    1. Hi, Myrabev!

      I know, I know. My vow was the same as yours: To not do the lick-the-finger bit. I SWORE I wouldn't do it.

      And then I had kids.

      I need lick-the-finger therapy. lol

      Thank you so much for commenting! :-)

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  15. I can see my husband! Haha. The wiping on face -- hmff. While I run to the room and get a wipe, my husband is done wiping my son's face with his wet finger. Ugh! LOL

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    1. Hi, Rea!

      Yup. it's beyond gross, and I'm semi-hanging my head in shame over here for doing it.

      As I stated in one of the comments above, I need therapy.

      Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment! :-)

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  16. Haaaaa! This is funny. I so do number 1. :) You wear nursing tanks so I'm wondering how old your youngest child is that you are still nursing. In JR's first year, I think I can totally see what you mean about not showering often. I was still trying to get myself together on a routine. I had windows of opportunity to shower and sometimes I was sleeping and then would miss out on the opportunity to shower :( . Thanks so much for linking up with us at Countdown in Style this week!

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    1. Hey, there, Brittnei!

      Our oldest child, a daughter just turned 8 months last week, and I foresee that I'll be nursing her until the cows come home -- pun wholeheartedly intended. (I nursed our son until he was 17 months old -- literally up until the day my husband I conceived our daughter. (I did not want to be nursing and pregnant at the same time.)

      I'm pleased to announce that my shower frequency has made a marked improvement in the last 8 months. When you have two kids under three -- our children are exactly 2 years and 17 days apart -- even the most mundane of activities is a balancing act. Now that our son is 33 months old, and our daughter is 8 months, I've got the hang of it...but it took a while...lol

      Thank you for commenting!

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