I don’t have to wait for Scotty and Kennedy to morph into know-it-all teenagers and pronounce me a social pariah.
I can call out my own annoying behavior right now.
Here are five things I do daily that must annoy the s#%t out of them:
1. When I was little and got something on my face, my dad would lick his finger and remove said crud by swiping my face. (I know: Ewwwww.) I remember thinking Isn’t this what WetNap packets are for? I HATED this. (I hate to use the word hate, but, sorry, no other word applies here.) But, what do ya know? Who’s putting a wet finger to their kids’ faces now?
2. I go through periods when I don’t shower nearly as often as I should. I am not proud of this. I’ve also been known to wear the same nursing tank two (okay, three) days in a row. My children don’t mind their mama’s funk, but, still, that is no excuse.
3. I add the letter y to the end of 75% of nouns in my vocabulary. Foot becomes footy; teeth becomes teethy; snack becomes snacky. “Awww, did Scotty bump his heady?” or “Mama’s gonna tickle that arm pity,” I say to Kennedy every night when I’m dressing her for bed. Hopefully I’ll be able to undo this grammatical damage before my children enter Kindergarten.
4. I sing along to Scotty’s favorite children’s tunes. Loudly. And badly. You can find a few of my greatest (offending) hits here, here, and here. Oh, and my perennial favorite, here. I sing along to Every. Single. Word. Ain’t no shame in my game.
5. Whenever I’m breaking bread with Scotty at the dinner table, I’m either asking him to stop playing with his food, or, worse, I’m asking if he finds his meal delicious. “Is it delicious, Scotty? Is it delicious? Is it?” Mind you, I can’t cook worth a damn, so most of the time his food is just edible, at best, unless my husband made it. (I admit that I ask Scotty this mostly so I can hear him repeat the word delicious, which he pronounces, “dishes.”)
C’mon, join in on the
annoyance fun! What are some of your
behaviors that your children must find less than charming? Share yours in the
comment section below!
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