My response to Vogue's "By 30" bucket list

Don’t get me wrong, my day looks – or night ones, for that matter – are not apt to inspire a spread in any of the hottest fashion magazines, but I thought I was doing all right in the style department.

I’ve got a pretty impressive shoe and handbag collection as well as enough jeans and cashmere sweaters to clothe a small nation.  

But a bucket list of fashion risks recently released by Vogue magazine entitled 10 Fashion Risks You Should Have Taken by the Age of 30 proves I am woefully inept in the sartorial department.

Judging by my response to the ten items on their list, I scored a D+, at best.

According to Vogue, a woman should have tried the following by her 30^th birthday:

1. Stepped out in thigh-high boots and a miniskirt at least once.

I do own a pair of black thigh-high Donald Pliner boots, but I can’t for the life of me remember the last time I wore them. Nixay on the miniskirt, by the way. As you can see, I am off to a rip-roaring start.

2. Adapted something from a school girl’s uniform-pleated skirt, Peter Pan collar, or over-the-knee socks for your working wardrobe.

Before becoming a SAHM, I worked in politics…and in broadcast news prior to that. Had I showed up to city hall – or the TV station – in a school girl’s uniform or over-the-knee socks, I may have been removed from office – and most definitely ridiculed into oblivion by my camera crew.

3. Exposed a cowboy boot.

Check! And I’ve got a straw beach hat to match. Brownie points.

4. Taken to the streets in a nightgown.

Does making a mad dash down the driveway to fetch the morning paper count? My hunch is no.

5. Done sequin pants for day.

First, I think the writer of the list meant “don,” and, secondly, I didn’t know there was such a thing. I hope they are lined with silk because, otherwise, they sound horribly uncomfortable.

6. Gone goth, punk, or grunge for the night.

Allow me to preface my response by stating that I have nothing but love for my brethren who have a penchant for going over to the dark side, but the closest I’ve come to going goth is wearing Chanel’s “Black Stain” on my toes in the wintertime.

7. Reinvented an oversize men’s blazer as a dress.

Have you seen my husband’s blazers? A former NFL lineman, he wears a size 3X. His blazers can in no way pass for a dress.

8. Blown your tax return on a pair of skinny leather pants and regretted it.

Nope. But once upon a time, I did spend nearly twice my car note on approximately 25 tubes of MAC lipstick after receiving word that my favorite color was being discontinued. And, no, I still don’t regret it.

9. Worn a “signature” hat.

Somehow, I don’t think this limited edition NFL Bud Light cap Scott brought home from this year’s NFL draft party counts.

10. Referenced at least two of the following for inspiration: Joan Jett, Jane Birkin, Bianca Jagger, Stevie Nicks, Kurt Cobain, or Anita Pallenberg. 

I have fantasized about wearing a white suit jacket à la the one Bianca Jagger wore when she married Mick: 

But I don’t have the courage nor cleavage to pull it off.

What about you? How did you fare with this list?