Monday, November 10, 2014

Kid Calculator: How much is your kid costing you?

You've probably heard it all before: The cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 -- in this day and age -- is somewhere around the $240,000 mark.

But that's bull$*t.

It's more. 

A lot more.

Sure, that list factors in Carter's onesies when they're babies, trips to McDonald's when they're in elementary school, and piano lessons when they're in middle school.

But, oh, there's So. Much. More. to consider:

What if your child is a "problem child"?

What if they're abnormally messy?

And what about the cost of those home repairs? Read: broken windows, busted lampshades, and other damage that Little Johnny is bound to create with his aluminum bat.

Finally, we've got a way to come up with a more realistic tally.

The fine folks at Cash Store have developed a Kid Calculator that we should all try out for a spin.

And as if the calculator alone isn't enough, it also gives us the option to create an invoice for our child.

It works like this:

Then move on to this:

That's it!

Scotty is only three, and Kennedy is only one, but rest assured. I'm not letting any grass grow under their feet. 

Scott and I will be issuing these invoices in yearly installments, you know, to give our children plenty of time to pool their allowances and establish a payment plan. (We'll accept cash or check only.)

In fact, Scotty will find his first invoice next to his Fruit Loops this morning, and Kennedy will find hers on her highchair -- right next to her YoToddler Yogurt and Fiber One.

So how much are your kids costing you?

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  1. This is why I don't have children ;) I can't afford them- seriously.

    1. LOL. Hell, who am I to say, but I think you might reconsider someday. I mean, one can always find a reason to not have kids -- or do anything else, for that matter. It's not like someone looks at the YTD on their check stub and says, "Eureka! I finally have enough!"

      I totally get that for someone who lives on $20,000, perhaps having five kids isn't the wisest choice.

      But, to me, if a couple is on the same page, and plans accordingly -- that the key word, here, -- PLAN -- it can be done. Maybe not with new iPads every year and a $10,000 preschool tuition, but it can be done.

      I remember thinking similarly to you, though: When I was in my late 20s,unmarried, and had just purchased my first home, I thought, "I cannot afford to have kids now."

      But, then, that wasn't the only thing holding me back: I also didn't want to be a mom then, I wasn't married, and I hadn't met someone I could even fathom procreating with.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Stephanie.


    2. And I suck for spelling your name wrong! Sorry. I have a family member who spells is ph, so it's automatic for me, and I apologize.

      I am a stickler for spelling names correctly.

  2. Heheh, Munchkin's total is $413k right now... I assume that will only go up! But I'm also not entirely sure that's accurate because I guarantee you my husband and I together have not made that much in the last 5 years...

    It's a fun calculator though... certainly good for entertainment. :D

    1. All I have to say is, you had better get crackin' with regard to rendering Munchkin his invoice...

      ...for entertainment purposes, of course. ;-)

      Thank you for commenting.


  3. my three are costing me a fortune!!! I might need to return them! LOL!!

    1. I bet, Ida! Particularly because they are older than mine. (I'm bracing myself for that time...

      The part about returning them nearly made me fall over from laughter!

      Thank you so much for commenting.


  4. I can only think of the episode of "Good Times" when the calculator explodes as the man tries to determine Michael's IQ. My two are currently Freshmen in college so I don't want to know how much they have already cost me - lol!

    1. I am with you all the way, Antionette! I have a confession to make: Mine are 3 and 1, respectively, and I am *already* afraid to crunch the numbers! (Shaking my head.)

      Thank you so very much for stopping by...


  5. Hi Courtney - $360k according to the calculator. Don't forget about dual family homes with child support too! Oy vey... Despite making young man wait and earn, we are still struggling with the value of money. Not sure how to figure that one out... but I am keeping an envelope for "good money decisions." So when young man decides to bring me money to pay for something he wants, I put it in an envelope. On his 16th birthday, this will be his "fun money" and no strings attached. Thanks for sharing - fun tool! Hugs, Holly

    1. Holly, that is SUCH a wise idea. I recently recall hearing a similar story from Jeannie Mai (sp?), a co-host on the show, The Real: Her mom stashed away money for her, too, which she received when she was 21. The grand total was a few grand, which is a nice nest egg to have at such a young age.

      You guys are doing darn good by young man, if you ask me!

      Thank you, also, for sharing!