Mom rage.
It’s real. And, quite
possibly, coming to a household near you if someone dares to complete one or
more of the following offenses. Consider yourself warned…
10. While
standing in line at the store, reach out and touch the cheek of the newborn
belonging to the mom in front of you. (This is not only a surefire way to set a mom off, but also a fantastic way to draw back a nub.)
9. Second
guess any mom’s parenting skills, and furthermore, tell her that you are doing
so. (When will people realize that, despite sleep deprivation and/or an extreme chocolate
deficiency, we’re all out here just doing the best we can with what we’ve got?)
8. Few
things can light a mom’s fuse before her child arrives, but lobbying for a seat
next to her OBGYN during delivery is just the thing to do it. If a mom wants
you there, she will let you know.
7. On the
heels of number three, some people actually take it one step further and
attempt to crash a mom’s homecoming from the hospital under the guise of
offering “help.” (Yeah, okay.)
6. Label
her child as “slow” or “off” in comparison to the milestones already reached by
other children. Them’s fightin’ words.
5. Keep doing something a mom told you not to. And keep doing it. Over. And over. And over. This stands for children, of course. And especially adults--they should know better.
4. When
you’re in a parking lot of a superstore and see a mom who’s clearly having a
tough go of it – let’s say she’s, oh, seven months pregnant and struggling with
her man-child of a toddler – turn the knife even further by snatching the only
shopping cart within a ten-mile radius. Even if you don’t need it.
3.
Blatantly disrespect a mom's time by completely disregarding the window you’ve
promised for service. (I’m looking at you, Refrigerator Repair Man.)
2. Jerk
a mom around by transferring her from one incompetent account representative to
the next. (I’m looking at all of you, Insurance Phone
Representative People.)
And finally…
1. Suggest to any mom – regardless her children’s ages – that she “should have lost all of her baby weight by now.” This is, by all means, an invitation for a myriad of problems. Run. Away.