Since a picture is worth a thousand words, let's just start with the candid shot below, which was taken nearly a year ago:
I turn by back for ONE SECOND to rewind a part of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion show, and this is what happens -- apparently you can't enjoy any of life's luxuries while kids are awake. (Never mind the Little People tourist girl. She didn't drown. She was rescued in time and survived.)
The focus here is the shade of this beverage, which I like to refer to as cream with a splash of coffee.
Because, you see, since I began drinking coffee nearly twenty years ago, that is how I found my coffee most enjoyable: heavy on the Splenda, and even heavier on the cream.
And then this happened:
The Hubs recently embarked on a newfound weight-loss journey. His primary motivator -- in his exact words -- is "to be around for you guys as long as I can." ( I know: Awwwww!)
And I've decided to join him.
My motivator, however, is decidedly less noble, purely cosmetic, and, frankly, borders on vanity:
I simply want to look better in my shorts this summer.
Anyhow, The Hubs casually drops this bomb one night while watching TV:
"Did you know that by switching over to black coffee, you could lose 14 pounds by the end of the year? Because black coffee is basically calorie-free."
This according to the findings of a study he had just read on Yahoo!.
It made sense immediately. All those tablespoons of cream I pour into my coffee certainly weren't freebies.
They were ending up somewhere.
Like, my thighs and ass.
And even though Splenda has zero calories, I remember in the best-selling book Skinny Bitch that your body still actually processes the sweetener the same exact way as it does regular sugar.
And all of a sudden, my coveted little yellow packets and their sidekick, half-and-half, didn't seem like such a necessity anymore.
Particularly not when visions of my thighs and backside fitting into my skinniest skinny jeans danced in my head like calorie-free sugarplums.
"Think about it: You already like the taste of coffee," The Hubs said, egging me on. "You can do this. You could totally make that switch."
I thought about it some more.
It seemed easy enough.
I know a ton of people who drink their coffee black. So it can't be all that bad.
Cut scene to the next morning:
Straight black coffee, baby.
I'm currently on week three.
And it ain't half bad.
Eggs, half a pink grapefruit, maybe a piece of whole wheat toast, and black coffee.
Watch out, saddlebags. I'm coming for you.
You should be very, very afraid.
To be continued.
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