When former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete
rose from his chair and headed toward the podium to give his keynote speech at
the Autism Alliance of Michigan’s annual Michigan Shines for Autism Gala,
Peete’s autistic teenage son RJ smiled at my husband, who played with Rodney
during his tenure at the Detroit Lions, and gave him a fist bump as if to say, My dad’s got this.
And Peete did: From the moment he
uttered his first word, Peete held the audience captive as he took us all on
the twisting, winding, and uncertain journey that is often all too familiar for
parents of autistic children.
And although Peete was cool, composed,
and tempered his story with just the right amount of humor and candor, there
was absolutely no sugar-coating the gut-wrenching impact of the words a
therapist hit him and his wife Holly with when RJ was only three:
The therapist said that RJ would never attend a mainstream
school.
She said RJ would never speak.
And she said that he and Holly should
probably resign themselves to the fact that RJ would never say "I love
you."
Sitting mere steps away from the podium
where Peete spoke were the parents of Jay Granger. Like Peete and his wife, the
Grangers also know what many other parents of autistic children have since
learned: You will be told your autistic child will not be able to do something,
and then you will celebrate when they defy expectation.
That’s precisely what happened one night
on the football field of mid-Michigan’s Mason High School, when the school was trailing
their opponent, DeWitt, by 22 points.
Mason’s varsity head football coach
Jerry Van Havel sent Jay Granger, who is autistic, onto the field with a
special request: Let Granger run a few steps and then stop.
But
DeWitt’s defense went a step further and allowed Granger to run the ball in for
a touchdown, thereby making his lifelong dream come true.
“I don’t
score touchdowns in football,” said Granger while being interviewed on Lansing,
Michigan’s WLNS-TV for the station’s Player of the Week feature. “I really
don’t have that much talent in the sport…[but] it’s one of the coolest things
I’ve ever done in my athletic career!”
Also on
the field that night was Coach Van Havel’s son, Mason High quarterback Jarrett
Van Havel, who has been a close friend of Granger’s since first grade.
Granger
has said that Van Havel pushes him in the classroom as well as in sports.
In turn,
Van Havel credits Granger for supporting the team with his infectious positive
attitude.
Together, Granger, Jarrett Van Havel,
and Coach Van Havel were the recipients of the 2015 Autism Alliance of
Michigan’s Courage Award.
This particular brand of fellowship – which
is unique to team sports; particularly football – made it abundantly clear to
me that autism affects everyone.
Not just those who are living with it.
And we all have a responsibility – and
the power – to affect the landscape.
How cool would it be if our schools were
filled with kids like Jarrett?
And if every night they went home to parents
like Coach Van Havel?
We can do this by raising our children to
be more tolerant of the challenges their autistic peers may face, and we can do
this by offering empathy and support – no matter how small – to the parents of
autistic children.
By the way, RJ Peete attends a
mainstream high school (and rides the city bus to get there); he speaks just
fine; and every single day, he looks his parents in the eyes and tells them, “I
love you.”
At the end of the gala, when my husband
told Peete that his favorite part of the speech was indeed the “I love you”
part, I will never forget Peete’s response.
He said, “Remember what coach [the late
Frank Gansz, special teams coach for the Detroit Lions] used to say? ‘Celebrate
the small wins.’ Because they matter…and they’re important.”
* * *
Photo
Credit: LK Photographic
Caption: Granger,
Jarrett Van Havel, and Coach Van Havel are given the 2015 Autism Alliance of
Michigan’s Courage Award by (from left) Detroit Lions defensive end Ziggy
Ansah, RJ Peete, former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete, Coach Jerry Van Havel, Jarrett
Van Havel, Jay Granger, former Detroit Lions offensive lineman Scott Conover,
Detroit Lions head coach Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions running back Joique Bell,
and WJBK-TV Fox 2 Detroit sports anchor (and Detroit Lions Radio Network
play-by-play announcer) Dan Miller.
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