Because when you marry a man who has spent most of his life
playing the game – and nearly seven of those years in the National Football
League – football is not just a game, it’s a way of life. So in honor of the
most popular weekend in American sports, I give you: You know you’re an NFL
wife when…
2. When watching a game with your husband, he is able to
identify – and announce – a penalty several seconds before the referee does.
3. Letters arrive in the mail at random from fans who
kindly request that your husband autograph his enclosed football cards, and
then send everything back in the self-addressed stamped envelope provided…all so
that said fan can sell the cards for profit on eBay:
4. Your husband may be 6’6” and weigh over 300 pounds, but
you think his size is average.
5. Your son’s first football jersey…is his dad’s:
6. Your husband possess two names: The one he was born
with – and the nickname his teammates bestowed upon him after he was drafted. (The
latter is used so frequently, it may as well be added to his birth
certificate.)
7. You never tire of hearing all the stories from his playing days.
8. Complete strangers will talk $h!% about your
husband’s team, and then turn right around and ask for his autograph...or...wait for it...ask if you can hook them up with tickets.
9. Your husband’s 3XL-sized professionally-framed
jerseys adorn the walls of your home, becoming mainstays of the décor. They’re
like Lay’s potato chips: You can’t have just one because there’s the home
jersey, away jersey, college away jersey, college home, etc. Here is one of
three in the hallway leading to our bedrooms:
10. Football will be worked into your wedding day
ensemble, some way, somehow – i.e. a garter belt (or cough, cough, thong) bearing your husband’s team
logo, a groom’s cake, etc. Yours
truly may or may not have had these items in her possession (wink, wink):
