November 12, 2014

The 7 Stages of Facebook "Likes" Addiction


Aren't they what Facebook is all about?

I mean, really. It's not like we have this burning desire to broadcast to the world today's to-do list, a photo of Aunt Mebel's rump roast, or the fact that little Susie possesses the innate talent to snort a Cheerio through her nose.

Okay, some people are overtaken by a burning desire to broadcast such information.

But for the vast majority of folks, it's not these things that matter, per se: It's the validation and attention we receive for posting them.

And that can be addictive.

Which, when you think about it, is silly and scary at the same time.

Here are The 7 Stages of Facebook "Likes" Addiction:

1. Occurrence
Alright. First things first: Whether you just took some cookies out of the oven or you just hopped aboard a hayride, before something can be elevated to Facebook post status, it has to happen in the first place. 

2. Inspiration 
Because we now live in a time where we post even the most mundane occurrence the mili-second after it's happened, this stage often happens before we consciously recognize it. In the case of the freshly-baked chocolate cookies, we might get the urge to post a picture of them before the aroma even filters to the living room.

3. Expectation 
This stage actually commences before we hit the post button: It is the little voice inside our head -- the expectation -- that whatever it is that we post will not only garner the attention of our friends and followers, but that they will also care enough about it to "like" it.

4. Postation
No, it's not a real word. And, yes, I totally made it up. Postation is the act of posting our words or comments onto our Facebook page. This stage has been known to be accompanied by a bevy of emotions, ranging from pride to euphoria.

5. Anticipation
After something has inspired you to post -- and you've done so -- the only thing left to do is wait for "likes" to come rolling in. Or hope they do.

6. Denial
This stage can go one of two ways and can basically be summarized by the following sentiments:
What?!? I can't believe it. Ten "likes" in TWO minutes? Damn, this post is killin' it!! 
You feel amazing. 
What?!? I can't believe it. Only one "like"? It's been FIVE WHOLE MINUTES
You feel like sh*t.
A few minutes later, the aforementioned thought is followed closely by...
Only ONE more "like"??? Even the pic Dan posted of his dead parrot got seven!

7. Dénouement
Like the definition of the word itself, the dénouement stage is the final resolution. The outcome. The end of the road for this particular post. And like #6, this phase is also like A Tale of Two Cities because it can either be fantastic or f*cked up, which, of course, is determined by the number of likes. If your post has attracted a ton, then, hooray for you, you're probably busy counting them like faux Monopoly money. Or, if your post is really overachieving, you're replying to comments.
But if you're still throwing shade over the fact that you've been trumped by Dan's dead parrot, you might feel like kicking your cat. And if you don't have a cat, you may be depressed enough to consider trolling someone else's Facebook page. But we all know that's nuts.

Regardless, in a matter of minutes, you'll cut your losses and look forward to something else happening, which will set the vicious cycle into motion all over again.


  1. that is awesome that ou are blogging for the NFL and USA Good for you for getting it all done though. I can't stop laughing, sadly true about Facebok likes, LOL, I always fear that the people you don't friend keep checking and will hunt you down in real life.

    1. Hi, Karen! And welcome! Thank you for posting! The part about you not being able to stop laughing is the GREATEST compliment you could have given because I kinda stuck my neck there with this post....I thought, "Are people going to agree with me??? Or think I'm crazy for saying this?" lol

      But the part of your comment about people hunting you down, made me ROTFLMAO!!!

      Thank you for sharing!


  2. So true! I used to never post to FB before I started blogging and then, once I did, I told my friend "now I'm checking my phone for likes every 5 minutes!" Her response? "Welcome to how the rest of the world lives!" It was too funny!!!
    So cool you are blogging/posting for the NFL!!!!! Where can I find your stuff? You know I'm ALL about football!

    1. Allie!!!!!! Yet ANOTHER reason we are kindred spirits!!! I, honest to God, didn't join Facebook until I started blogging 9 months ago, either. I realized that if I wrote online, I may as well join the living and *post* online...(smh) lol

      You will be able to find all of my NFL stuff right here -- or on NFL Evolution when it is published there! Either way, I'll let everyone know. I've currently had one post published on NFL Evolution, and I've published two posts here on behalf of the NFL. I'll be doing more in the future as assignments are given. Stay tuned...

      Thank you to the moon and back for sharing your comment; I don't think you know how much I appreciate it!


  3. My name is Liv and I am a FaceBook Like addict.

    I'm posting Monday and Thursdays now's still hectic but a little less. Good luck.

    1. Hey, Liv! LOL So FB had brought you into the fold, too, huh?

      Thanks for the well-wishes! I already feeel better having made the switch to two days from three. I've got LOTS of balls in the air, but, LOVING (and humbled by) the tremendous blogging opportunities that have rolled my way...

      Thanks, again, for taking a moment to comment.

      Good luck to you, too.

  4. LOL. These are great and I can definitely attest to the ups and downs that are the Facebook "like" addiction. You're spot on. :P (For that matter, Instagram hearts are the same way. Or blog comments. Or just plain post reads - whether on the blog or on other sites.) I really, truly, used to not care so much, and then once I made the blog/business page it all started to slide downhill!

    I'm so happy for you that you're getting these great blogging opportunities! And if it's something you truly love (and it seems to be), double bonus! And I definitely understand about cutting back... I'm struggling with that a lot right now, finding time for everything. And it's just not possible!

    1. Hi, there! And thanks for weighing in...

      This whole Facebook thing is so new to me. I only joined it back in January of this year when I launched this blog; prior to that, I wasn't on Facebook in any capacity. I think this notion of addiction is particularly true for Facebook fan pages since Facebook pulled the rug out from under us when they changed the rules by limiting the reach of fan page posts, and encouraging us to "boost" our posts by paying money for them, which I think is complete and utter poppycock -- bloggers don't get paid as it is, and now they want us to spend money to ensure that the people who are already following us actually see our posts?

      Back in the day, EVERYONE who followed you saw what you posted.

      Not anymore.

      So I think we are more attuned to how many likes we get because we know we're already behind the eight ball when many of our followers are not even getting to see our posts...

      But I actually have a different perspective when it comes blog comments: I don't think the same kind of addiction applies, and here's why (based on my personal experience): Some of my most popular posts (based on cold, hard stats) have garnered the least amount of comments. I think the act of commenting is something that we in the blogging community do among each other -- for the most part. I mean, there are exceptions, of course, but most members of Joe public don't leave comments. For one, they want to get in, read what you have to say, and get on with their day. For example, I am waaaaaaay more apt to leave a comment on, say, your blog. But I have never left a comment on, say, or pop sugar. Again, I know there are exceptions. But, from what I gather, most bloggers receive comments from other bloggers.

      So, all this is to say that a post can be widely read, shared, and enjoyed and not receive a lot -- if any -- comments.

      Whereas on Facebook, the sole purpose of the post, it seems to me, is not necessarily to be read but to get people to "like" it. Does that make sense?

      Thank you so much for your kind words on my new endeavors...


    2. You only started this blog this YEAR?! Good lord woman. Go you!

      That's a really good point about joe schmo versus our blogging community. And about the difference between the point of a blog post versus FB post.

      I also tend to not leave comments (or even not read posts, at times) for super popular writers because they don't do anything to acknowledge them.. so why would I spend my precious time sending a comment out into the ether? Someone that I build a relationship with though (like you) I usually at least TRY to come up with something - even if the post matter is not something I identify with at all.

    3. Yup. Launched this blog on January 13, 2014. (My sister-in-law's birthday, as a matter of fact.) I mean, I've been writing professionally for about 15 years. But prior to January, this blog was just a glimmer in my eye; lol...THANK YOU for the compliment...

      Okay. So with regard to the comments: We are in near lock-step with our thoughts. Please allow me to break mine down even further..

      And, again, just my two cents here, but I think this whole notion of commenting on blogs is quite subjective. I rarely comment on them anymore. I will if I have something to say and/or have a report with that particular blogger. I actually have two blogs that I began following YEARS ago, before I even fathomed having a blog of my own, and guess what? Neither of these bloggers even know I exist, or, if they do know of me, they don't know I'm reading their blog because I have never left a comment. And probably won't. I do drive-by reads of their posts and keep it movin.' I read them because I like what they have to say...

      Which leads me to point two: I have never judged a blog's (or blogger's) success by how many comments their posts attract. As I've said before, some of my most popular posts have the least amount of comments, but I know they are being read. Quick story: At a USA Football youth clinic I attended with Scott in September, I ran into several moms -- the number blew me away -- who had read one post I had written -- they recited it damn-near verbatim. They said that they loved it! But not ONE of these moms left a comment!

      That was a wake up call: I asked myself: Would I rather have 35 comments from the 35 readers who have read a post? Or a post that attracts thousands of readers and 3 comments -- or no comments at all?

      Something to think about.

      I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people post to promote their OWN blogs and call it "networking." If that's what people want to do, then, fine. I'm not throwing shade, as they say, but that's not for me.

      However, I do agree that if someone takes the time to actually comment on your post -- regardless of their motive -- that they deserve acknowledgement, which is why I believe in replying. But that's just me.

      Climbing off my soapbox now. (Tee, hee.)


    4. Oh, and I meant to type "rapport." NOT report.

    5. *laugh* I didn't even notice the typo, I swear.

      This are all really awesome points and you've got a really good/wholesome view on it. I admit that my thinking on this subject has been really murky - so this post and another discussion I was having with Julia (franticmama) have started to help me make sense of it. (And were, partially, the grounding for the post I put up today.) Honestly it is so relieving to get some other perspectives on things. I'll admit this... I constantly second guess myself - on posting something like today, on putting something up at all, at writing such a long off topic comment here! It's something I reaaaaaaaly am working on, but then sometimes I'll blindside myself with something like this... anyway.

      The networking thing... yes. I liked your point about voice vs content on my blog... for me it can be about connection with that person too, which I guess is more or less their voice but it's also them. I "meet" people online that I want to be friends with... and if they don't acknowledge, they've got to be a really really damn good writer or offer something amazing for me to keep coming by.

      Anyway... off to read that article you posted for me. There's lots churning in the brain tonight!

  5. Some people are definitely into broadcasting those details! This post is pure genius! I think I'll go post about it on Facebook! (see what I did there...)

    1. LOL! I {heart} you, Angela. Thank you so much...

      And, yeah, I know all of my Facebook posts haven't been the most riveting, and, yes, I have been known to post random thoughts...but, please, pull me aside and shuffle me to the nearest FA (Facebook Addiction) center if I start posting my to-do lists...


  6. I'm not facebook that much but I an be accuse of #6. Some folks get over 100's of likes on their profile pics and I'm lucky if I get 40 and have over 500 friends. Does this means it's time to delete people LOL. But when I posted my wedding pic I got over 230+ likes and was so overjoyed. It's so ridiculous that facebook matters that much LOL. Awesome post

    1. Thank you, Angela! It's a strange phenomenon, isn't it? I mean, like I said, it is both silly and scary. Psychologically, what does this all really mean. Because, trust, it means SOMETHING about us as a society...

      And by the way, I was one of the 230+ who liked your wedding pic: You were gorgeous. Congrats, again, on your nuptials.


  7. Honestly I pay so little attention to 'likes' but then I am not a blogger :) I crosspost for homeless pets and special needs/older pets that I hope my broadcasting makes a difference, but for me, likes are meh for the most part. The charities I tweet/facebook are also important.

    I am also going to go out on a limb here....... some posts are just lost in the shufflle, and lots of times we as readers just dont see them, so if you dont get a like, it might be facebook isnt showing them!

    1. Hi, tannawings! Thank you for taking a moment to comment...

      Congratulations on avoiding the vortex that is Facebook "Likes" addiction. I'm going to surmise -- and safely, I believe -- that you are in the minority.

      With regards to the portion of your comment about posts getting "lost in the shuffle," it's far more deliberate than that. For a more detailed account of what I mean, please see the first portion to my reply to Dakota Nyght's comment (above).

      Thanks, again, for commenting.

  8. Oh my tried to say something earlier.... I have a friend who will post a picture or statement early in the am, and if it does not get enough "LIKES" she will repost said picture or statement again and again until it reaches the number that makes her happy. I have even seen her state, well maybe this post was lost in your feed, or you weren't up when I first posted this....


    I post and if you see it, you see it. If not.... OK....

    1. Wow. Just my opinion, but I *think* said friend's addiction has ballooned into a full-blown obsession, no?

      I have been known to repost something in only one particular instance: I'll post about the start of a giveaway...and then, if the vendor insists on having it run for a lengthy period of time, I will post about the giveaway within the final hours of the giveaway -- which was several days, and in most cases, weeks, after the initial post.

      But, about your friend, wow...


    2. I agree, if you are posting for a "Giveaway, or other such..." then post away. But to post because you deem this personal activity important and did not receive the "Likes" you expected, and re post and re post.... Yeah, just weird!

    3. I will give you another to think about too. Yesterday a mom that I am "friends" with because our youngest kids are posted that her oldest which is the same age as mine received another acceptance letter to college with a scholarship as well. I was so excited for her until I saw her hashtags. I then unlike her whole comment as it did not sit well with me. It is one thing to do a little bragging it is another to be mean. Thoughts on this hashtag....

      #IHaveASmartKid that one is a little baggy but OK, then this is what did not sit well with me # SorryIfYouHaveASuckyKid just so not necessary .... Thoughts?

    4. Oh Hell-to-the-no, Ray. Are you serious?!? Sigh. Sadly, I know you are. (eye roll)

      I'm going to abstain from posting what I really think because, well, I just don't want to go there, but from what I have posted alone, I think you know how I feel.

      I'll say this: Other people's kids are off limits. Being rude is also off limits. It should go without saying that being an a-hole is off limits.

      I'll just leave it at that. ;-)

      Thanks for sharing.

  9. Replies
    1. Thank you, Lexa! Facebook equals Love/Hate for most of us. :-/

      Thank you for commenting.


  10. You are so right! I will post to my personal page or tweet it out if I don't get likes. LOL! But that's as far as I go!

    1. I'm with you, April. I'm not down with posting the same thing a gazillion times: The prospect of annoying folks is enough to give me pause!

      Thank you for taking a moment to visit and comment.