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| Image: Karolina Grabowska/Pexels |
The cards are
sweet.
The
flowers are charming.
And
who in their right mind would decline a Sunday brunch of pastries, pancakes, coffee,
and, perhaps, a mimosa (or two)?
Not
me. Sign me up.
But,
as a mother, I have to admit that I want more—but not in the way you might
think.
I’m
talking about less pomp and circumstance and more substance. I mean, sure: pomp
and circumstance makes us giddy and garners a ton of likes on Facebook and
Instagram.
Substance,
on the other hand, isn’t shiny, can’t be worn, and is not perceptible by the
taste buds.
But
substance brings a lot to the table.
Substance
is the stuff of inner peace. It provides us moms reassurance. It makes us feel
good.
Substance
enables us to sleep well at night.
Here’s
how Merriam Webster defines substance: “a fundamental or characteristic part or
quality; ultimate reality that underlies
all outward manifestations and change; practical importance: MEANING,
USEFULNESS.”
So,
let’s explore what substance might look like when applied to the daily lives of
mothers today.
Well,
for starters, it looks like putting an end to the rat race manufactured by
society that pits career moms against stay-at-home moms. (Um, hello: Isn’t it high
time we acknowledge that all mothers work?) How grand would it be if
everyone—employers, partners, and we as women in general—was on the same page
about a mother’s work being as diverse as the shells in the sea.
Substance might also look like making motherhood—as an institution—a judgment-free zone so that mothers in all forms are recognized and lauded.
Not
all mothers arrive at this destination by way of the same path.
Remember:
While some mothers carried their baby in their womb, others found their
children in the classroom, through adoption agenciesor by way of the most unlikely
scenarios.
But
we are mothers all the same.
Substance
might also look like doing away with the qualifier still with regard to characterizing
a mother’s appearance and/or aptitude, as in: She had those kids years ago,
and she still hasn’t lost all the baby weight or You mean to tell
me her kid is still taking a bottle?
In
the words of supermodel Paulina
Porizkova, people “only use the word still when they're referring to
something they believe a person has lost."
Furthermore,
when the time comes for us moms to send our children off to school—and, later,
out into the world—we want the comfort of knowing that they’ll be accepted and
included by others, despite our children's differences or challenges.
Additionally,
substance looks like our husbands and partners being secure in the knowledge
that that we tried—and will never stop trying—even though we may have missed
the mark on something as important as a pertinent decision or as trivial as attempting
a new recipe we found on Pinterest.
And
for the love of everything that is holy, substance means having our attempts at
self improvement measured by something other than calories, a scale, or a size
on a clothing tag. We want to wear the darn bikini—stretch marks, pooch, and
all—without the weight of condemnation or comparisons to an airbrushed
celebrity.
And
another thing: I just turned 45, which means that I’ve officially arrived at
the age where I finally understand why people on game shows are so excited to
win a household appliance.
I’m
sure you recall Flood-a-Geddon—you know, that horrible flood last June that
ravaged many a basement in Wayne County, many of which were right here in our
great city?
Well,
I straight-up cried like a baby when that flood took out our family’s washer and
dryer. (Yes. The horror.)
Wouldn’t
it be great if substance also meant an eternal warranty on all the
appliances—technological devices included!—that we couldn’t bear to live
without?
So,
there you have it: The ultimate substantive Mother's Day wishlist.
Oh,
the glory.
And
while it's more likely that chocolate will be made a bona fide food group
before all of the above comes to fruition and then becomes the norm, a mother
can dream.
In
the meantime, we’ll most certainly be grateful for that brunch, bracelet, and a
thoughtful card.
Ultimately, we mothers just want to be loved. On Mother's Day, yes, but everyday.
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